It takes a strong personality to be a military spouse. Even the quiet ones have to build up a confidence in knowing they can run a household – at the drop of a hat – while their spouse is called to duty. This can be for a few days at a time, all the way up to over a year. As a milspo, you never know what you're going to get. However, there are some things that can help make life easier.
A Strong Backbone
You can't take military decisions personally. Your move isn't about you, that extra shift your spouse has to work isn't about them. It's a machine that seems to work at random sometimes. Take everything with a grain of salt and don't get upset at what happens. Easier said than done, but if successful, you can save yourself a lot of grief.
A Healthy Vice
Love coffee? What about banana smoothies? Long walks to relieve stress? Whatever your "thing" might be, get real comfortable because it might become a regular event- a pick-me-up every time your spouse has to work late and you're on unexpected errand duty. Trust us, treating yourself helps!
A Trusted Friend
There's a certain bond between military spouses that can't be fully understood until you've felt it. Milspos protect their own. This also means it's easier to find those you trust and can look to in a time of need, even if you haven't known one another for very long.
A Flexible Mindset
In the military, life will change. Then it will change again, revert back to the original plan, then do something else altogether. This is the norm. It's better to get used to it early on and not let if affect your mood. Learn to roll with the punches and you'll be much better off – happier and healthier.
Some Serious Tact
You will likely get stepped on at some point as a milspo (don't take this personally, either). This isn't a time to roll over; stand up for yourself, but do so politely. Find the fine line between remaining respectful, but without letting others do as they please with your feelings. It can be learned and perfected throughout your time as a milspo.
A Safe Venting Outlet
There will be times you need to get out some serious anger. That's ok, in fact, it's encouraged. Leaving feelings bottled up isn't emotionally healthy. Find a person or place where you can share your thoughts as often as you need. Just be sure this source is trusted and can keep information to themselves.
Finally, you're going to need a crew, those who are going through what you're dealing with, too. Join your FRG (that's family readiness group), find local social media pages or websites to connect with others who are new to an area, frequently on the move, and who are going through similar life situations. Misery and happiness love company all the same!